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Hogtied

Have you ever had to live your life hogtied? Doing so is a process. You can't will the binds and chains that are immobilizing you to simply fall away so that you can progress with life. It takes a while for you to realize that you've tried every struggle and attempt to free yourself that you can think of, especially when you're as stubborn and persistent as me. Once you accept the fact that you are bound too firmly to escape, it's like accepting the reality of no longer having hands and feet. At that point you can conserve your energy and give up, or you can persistently keep living. You can't walk. You can't reach. You can't climb. The only action you can take is the action of thinking. Thinking about what actions you will take when you can take them. Thinking about what actions you took when you could take them. Thinking about what actions you didn't take when you had an opportunity to take them. What about where you're hogtied? Alone, in a soundproof room, which leaves ya screams of frustration and pleas for help unheard. No hands, no feet, and no voice. You can't move and you can't leave, but you can still persistently keep living. After days, weeks, months, years. You start to convince yourself to be content with the progress you were capable of making in your circumstances. You take pride in your achievement of achieving nothing. Pride in your ability to "Think Positively" in circumstances meant to demoralize you. You cheer yourself on silently from somewhere deep down inside, taking your small victories as what they are, victories. Getting through another thought of despair instead of giving in is a victory. It doesn't get you far in the grand scheme of life, but it got you one moment further, and that is a victory. Living life hogtied is surviving. At some point, in some way, we've all done it. Even when you feel broken, each thought that moves you a moment further is a victory. Keep surviving.

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